fic: I'm Not Sorry (2)
Title: I’m Not Sorry (chapter 2)
Spoilers: minor for ‘Hiatus’
Disclaimer: NCIS doesn’t belong to me. If it did, certain things would be different. :)
Gibbs and his team were in the field doing interviews for a new case, so the director settled in for meetings and paperwork. But first she called in back-up forensic scientists (it always took at least two to match Abby’s caffeine powered work load) and sent Gibbs an email calling him to her office as soon as he returned.
As it turned out, the email was unnecessary. About 1230 Jenny’s phone rang. She smiled a little when she saw the caller ID. “Yes, Jethro?”
“Jen, where the hell is Abby? She’s not in the lab and she’s not answering her cell.” His voice was just on the edge of frantic, so she chose her words carefully.
“Don’t worry, Jethro, I sent her home sick. You know Abby, she would keep working even if she had avian flu.”
His response was a chuckle, and Jenny relaxed a bit. “She’s probably got her cell off so she can get some rest. I know you don’t like strange forensic scientists, Jethro –“
“No problem, Jen, we have to have someone.”
“Are you back yet?” she asked before he could hang up.
“I need to see you in my office as soon as you get here.”
“About the case?”
She hesitated. “Not entirely.”
“Is it about Abby?” She could detect fear creeping back into his voice. “Never mind, we’re here. I’ll be up in a sec.” He clicked off and Jenny began to prepare herself for the coming confrontation.
Five minutes later Gibbs burst into her office and slammed the door behind him. “Dammit, Jen, what’s wrong with Abby?”
For several minutes she gazed at him, until he looked as though in another second he would strangle her.
“How do you feel about Abby, Jethro?”
“You really have to ask that, Jen? I love her like a –“ Jenny’s arched eyebrow stopped him from completing the lie. “I love Abby,” he admitted. “Tell me what’s wrong, now.”
“Sit down, Jethro.”
He did so, reluctantly. Jenny took a deep breath and began the story. “Abby told me that she was at your house about two months ago and that you were both drinking. Do you remember that?”
He nodded, slowly, his expression uncomprehending.
“Remember anything else?”
He closed his eyes and reached into his memory. ‘Abby laughing, stroking the silver on his temples as he undid her pigtails – her lips, warm and lush against his, kissing him passionately – his hands sliding under her shirt, gently caressing her velvety-smooth skin’
Jenny heard the almost imperceptible increase in his breathing rate, and watched as emotions she had seen many times before played across his features. “You do remember, don’t you, Jethro?”
He swallowed hard and opened his eyes. “I remember something.”
“Abby is pregnant.” Jenny knew she was being harsh but she wanted to see his reaction.
His mouth fell open. “But we didn’t –“
“She says you did.”
“I don’t remember that.”
“Think, Jethro. You were very drunk. She tried to stop you, but you didn’t listen.”
“You did. You forced yourself on her.” Jenny’s voice was cold and unrelenting, but she needed him to remember and this was the only way she knew.
He squeezed his eyes shut again and went back to the earlier memory. ‘He slowly removed her shirt, marveling at her beauty – as he continued to undress her he could hear her voice, seemingly far away, telling him to stop – his head spun with desire and he was certain that she wanted him, too -- he was completely lost in the scent, the feel, the seductive charm that was Abby’
Gibbs dropped his head into his hands. “Oh, God, no. Abbs…” For awhile his shoulders shook as he wept silently. Jenny had to fight the urge to comfort him as she had Abby – she knew that it would only make him feel worse.
He finally raised his head and spoke flatly. “I woke up the next morning on the floor of my basement next to the boat. I had some scratches -- I assumed I had gotten careless with the tools. I knew Abby had been there, but I didn’t remember anything except talking to her.” He paused, then added, “Actually I had some other vague memories but I thought they were a dream.”
“You dream about her often.” It was not a question.
“Yes,” he replied quietly. “Often.” He covered his face for a moment, then stood and looked at her with pleading eyes. “Jen, what am I going to do? If someone else did this to Abby I’d shoot him without a second thought.”
“Well, don’t shoot yourself, Jethro. Not physically or mentally, either. You can’t let guilt destroy you – not this time. Do you know why? Because you have a family now.”
He flinched at the word, and his eyes grew distant as he remembered the family he had lost so many years before. When he felt a touch on his shoulder, he came back to the present with a start. “Jen, there’s no way that Abby will –“
“She’s already forgiven you, Jethro. She made me promise not to fire you or write you up.” Moving closer, she said gently, “Abby just wants to know that you love her.”
He didn’t dare to hope, but maybe –
“What do I do, Jen?”
The Director smiled. “It’s time for the big romantic gesture. Now go to her apartment and make it.”